Secrets of the Q revealed

Wednesday
 
All week I was walking on clouds - provided nothing went wrong, I was riding down to St. Louis the next day with three attractive young ladies, maybe one of which I could get to know better...
All week I was walking on clouds – provided nothing went wrong, I was riding down to St. Louis the next day with three attractive young ladies, maybe one of which I could get to know better...
I was supposed to go to Dempsey's Tuesday or Wednesday to make sure the trip Thursday was still on. Mandy was supposed to work those nights, and would let me know. I was looking forward to it, since Wednesday was “Open Mic Night” and I didn't have to work Thursday.
Mandy wasn't there. Joe, the musclebound part-owner, was tending bar. Joe Frew was there too. I talked to Joe Frew; I don't know the owner Joe. At least, not the owner Joe at Dempsey's. I know the owner, Joe, at Track Shack. But that's a different Joe, Joe.
Joe started the open mics; Not Bartender/part-owner Joe. I don't think he plays anything except clang irons. I mean Joe Frew, the musician, who will soon be Joe the Bartender and Joe the manager.
Boy, bars sure are confusing. So I decided to go looking for Mandy and her friends.
All the bars were empty. I wound up at the Alamo, where I still couldn't pick up a woman. So I finished my water, tossed the ice in the trash can, poured the bottle into the glass and tossed the bottle in the bin, and walked out the back door, across the parking lot, and down the street.
A cop passed me going the opposite way. The cop stopped, and then backed up. I took a big swallow.
“Hey!”
“Huh?”
“What's in the glass?”
“Uh, its, er,” I looked in the glass, took a drink... “it's um...” I finished it. “It's er, um, empty!” I turned the glass upside down.
“Oh, a smart guy, huh?” He turned the blue bubblegums on and the two of them got out. “Let's see some I.D.”
I gave them my driver's license, and asked innocently, “what's the problem?” he answered my question with a question. “Where do you live?”
Well duh, it's on the license, asshole. But I didn't say that, I just told him where I lived. “I just walked down here for a beer, you know man?”
The other cop says “drugs?” The first cop shook his head. “Where'd you get the beer?”
“Huh?” I said.
“Look,” the cop said, “it's against the law to walk down the street with an open container.”
“What???” I asked, incredulously. “That's stupid!”
“Look,” he said, giving me the evil eye, “we don't make the laws. We just enforce them.”
“I know, I know,” I told him. “Nothing against you guys, not your fault. It's just a really stupid law.”
“So who sold you the beer?”
“Look,” I said, “I don't want to get anybody into trouble.”
“If we arrest you it's a $500 fine.”
“It's from The Alamo. Uh, where can I find a trash can to throw this away?”
“Down the alley there I see a dumpster.”
He handed my license back. “Look, you can't walk around with an open container, OK?”
“I'm sorry,” I said, and walked down the street to the dumpster.
I went to Dempsey's for a third beer and walked home dejected. It looked like I was taking the train.
 
Patty was waiting up. “Where were you? I went into Dempsey's looking for you! That guy playing guitar was really good!”.
“Fat guy with real short hair, needs a shave, wears glasses?”
“Yeah”
“That's Joe.”
“Oh yeah, I saw him on a sticker...”
 
I drank a beer and went to bed.
 
Thursday
 
I woke up Thursday in a bad mood. Blue. Angry. I felt like Mandy was just having a few laughs at the fool's expense. Well, I'm a fool, so fucking what? I'd see Mandy again and we'd see what went on.
I felt better after I took my happy pill. But I still wanted pussy. But I couldn't worry about pussy for a couple of days, I have to get a car.
For those of you who tuned in to the show late, my incredibly nice Grand Voyager's transmission went kerflooey and they want a shitload of money to fix it. And I'm still making payments. And I'm not related to Bill Gates. An old friend who lives in a slum south of East St. Louis has one he can't keep on his property he's willing to give me, because another old friend is tired of the damned thing sitting on his property. So I'm getting a free car. All that's wrong with it is it's a twenty year old piece of shit that sat in a driveway for ten years without being started.
So daughter Patty says she wants to steal her mother's PT Cruiser, the one I bought her mother two fucking months before she moved out to have more time with her adulterous boyfriend. “If I can, I'll give you a ride to the train station.”
“I don't want to see the goddamned parasitic whore,” I said. “Especially not today of all days.”
Thursday was my wedding anniversary. It would have been #27 if the fucking whore hadn't moved out last September. Funny, when you finally rid yourself of an albatross that's been hanging around your neck for 27 years, you miss the God damned albatross! ...at least for a while.
“Don't worry,” Patty promises, “I won't let her in.”
Patty's nickname for Evil-X's boyfriend is “Faggot”. Patty seems to especially like that name since it pisses her mom off. Particularly since I told Patty about the other guy who Evil-X moved in with another time long before either daughter was born, who liked to stick it in her back door. A real back door man.
My guess is that X still likes guys with small enough dicks to go in through the back door, and my suspicions are heightened by the distaste that X finds with Patty's nickname for “Faggot”.
I call him “Motherfucker”.
Oh, they turned the gas back on Thursday. Yay! Hot water!
Later I'm sitting on the front porch drinking coffee and I see the white PT coming down 7th. I go inside and upstairs and get in the shower. I dry off, get dressed, come downstairs... and there's X sitting on my couch, on our wedding anniversary.
“What the FUCK are you doing here TODAY of all the fucking days you could have come???” I demanded. And added “...fucking asshole.”
“I wanted to see my daughter, do you mind?”
“YES I mind, you heartless fucking cunt. You haven't seen her or even talked to her for three fucking weeks and you show up today of all days. I swear, I have known some pure evil, heartless, worthless fucking bastards in my time but you know, the worst doesn't come close to you. Don't you even realize the significance of today, bitch?”
“I know what day it is.”
“Then why come here TODAY of ALL DAYS! Heartless fucking asshole cunt, God damned whore...”
Patty walked in, so I shut up and went in the kitchen.
A little while later Patty came in. I gave her the evil eye. “You said you weren't going to let her in.”
“Well,... I'm sorry. It's just, you know?”
“Well, get rid of the God damned slut. I mean, er, sorry, get rid of her.”
“She said I could take you to the train station in her car.”
So my daughter took me to the train station while my adulterous ex-wife sat in my living room.
I bought a ticket. The next train didn't leave until 6:45. I called home, and Satan answered. No, Patty's not home and I'll have her call.
I walked across the street from the train station to a bar I hadn't been in before. A bunch of hippies and/or rednecks and/or bikers were shooting pool, drinking, and playing Virtual Bowling. I bought a beer. The phone rang.
“Yeah?”
“Mom said you called.”
“Come back, the train doesn't leave until 6:45.”
She took me home, and left with her evil mother.
Shortly after 5:00 I started walking, and thought I'd get a beer at Dempsey's while I waited for the train.
Joe Frew was tending bar. I shot the shit with Joe, who was waiting for a new girl, Amy.
Hmm, Amy? I wondered if it were the same Amy, the one whose brother had just killed himself.
About 6:00 a blonde figure flashed past the window. “Is that her?” Joe asked.
Mandy walked in. Sam was sick, Mandy was working and Kate had yet another birthday party. That's about 14 in two weeks. And here I spent my 21st birthday on the other side of the world where nobody gives a shit!
OK... Mandy eased my mind a bit. I got another beer, and drank it. At 6:30 I walked to the train station.
Next: The ride; a girl with an onion; St. Louis, and Q!