Words

I am convinced that the written word is far more understandable than the spoken word, although I know this isn’t true of anyone who suffers from dyslexia. This makes me grit my teeth whenever I see “R" for our, hour, are, or, or “UR” for you're, your, and all the other stupid, lazy shortcuts. I blame texting and Twitter with their 140 word limit.
The first hint, to me, was song lyrics; I always get them wrong. I heard Bad Moon Rising at least a half dozen times before I realized he wasn’t singing “third bathroom on the right”. It was years before I realized Aerosmith was singing “Dude looks like a lady” and not “Do the black lady”.
Did the Beatles sing “lets all get up and dance to a song that was a hit before your mother was born,” or “let’s all get up and dance to a song—that was a hippie four, your mother was born?” At the end of Nights in White Satan did he say “we decide which is right, and which is an illusion” or “we decide which is right, and which isn’t illusion” ?
And then there was the controversy over Woolie Bullie and Louie, Louie.
It is well illustrated by the title of the song Isle of Debris. Here are some phrases that simply cannot be understood when spoken, but reading them is a whole other story.
That is, except the last one, which is a perfect illustration of why spelling and punctuation matter. Have someone read it out loud to you.
All right, now, I'll write now:
I knew the new gnu.
Are there pleasure crews on a pleasure cruise?
He pares pairs of pears.
Nick, a teen, is addicted to nicotine.
The fare at the fair isn’t fair.
He attacks a tax on tacks?
What does dew do when it’s due?
A flyswatter isn't a fly's water.
It rains on the reins of the one who reigns.
Teaching your fan to see is a fantasy.
Jim’s gyms are gems.
The hoarse whore says "horses".
Is the Board of Education bored of education?
Extrasensory perception is not extra sensory perception.
Windsor winds are blowing.
Would the Finnish finish the wood finish?
Is it intense in tents?
Two more beers aren’t tumor beers.
Did the flea flee?
Wreck creation is not recreation.
Amino acid isn’t a mean old acid.
Worcestershire sauce is at worst, a sure sauce.
Most tourists have two wrists.
I've indicated I vindicated it.
Are you thunderstruck by thunders' truck?
Fun razors can't raise funds.
How long has the world whirled?
 
I am sofa king, Wee Todd Ed!